Mind Your Manners to Mine Your Career
As much as our society has "loosened up" its mores and social rules, manners still matter in the workplace.
When you have been in school for most of your life, it can be challenging to turn the corner and recognize that it is no longer OK to wear T-shirts, sweatpants and flip flops on a daily basis. How you present yourself, your clothes, your posture, your nonverbal communications (facial gestures, eye contact, what you do with your hands, etc.), how you style your hair…it all really does matter to employers, to how you are perceived and ultimately, your professional reputation.
Below I've outlined just a few key communication skills which dramatically affect business etiquette behavior.
First Things First
The basics of professional etiquette are really quite simple. First, understand the difference between business etiquette and social etiquette. Business etiquette is genderless. For example, the traditional noble etiquette of holding the door open for a woman is not necessary in the workplace and can even have the unintended effect of offending her. In the work environment, men and women are peers.
What Exactly Are You Saying?
As we all know, first impressions are lasting and there is usually not a second chance to elicit a first impression. And, you never have to even open your mouth.
What does how you stand say about you? Studies show that some women tend to make themselves smaller when in conversations with men by crossing their ankles when standing; by drawing their shoulders inwards; and, by essentially "shrinking" in their space. Ladies, check the amount of personal space you take the next time you engage with your practice group leader or someone on your firm's management team. A healthy personal "space" is your feet standing parallel to your hips. This stance exudes confidence.
The Eyes Have It
People want to feel special. They want to feel as though you are speaking directly to them or that they are the most important person in the room during your conversation. How many times have you engaged someone only for he/her to look all about you (behind you, beside you, around you) but never settling on establishing eye contact with you? Not good. You don’t want to be the someone who is creating that same feeling for someone else. It takes practice and confidence, but the power of establishing and maintaining eye contact is like connecting with someone’s soul. Very powerful.
Mother Was Right – aka Stand Up Straight
I am often astonished at how many "young" folks slouch and have rounded shoulders. Of all the non-verbal communications skills, presenting a confident appearance and image hinges upon standing up straight. To do otherwise conveys negative messages such as "I don’t matter;" "I really don't want to be here;" and "I'm not interested in what you are saying." Make it a habit to check your posture each time you pass by a mirror. You may be shocked at what you see. Stand up straight, already.
My Personal Favorite – the Mumbling Moe
Maybe it's a function of the Internet age, social media, texting, or none of that, but not annunciating words properly and/or drifting off towards the end of a sentence is essentially sending the message that either you don't care about what you are saying or you don't care about to whom you are speaking. Either way, this behavior does not make a positive impression. Be mindful not only of what you are saying, but HOW you are speaking.
Each of these business communications etiquette skills requires making a conscious effort to pay attention to how you present yourself. You’ve worked hard to arrive at your specific professional station. Take pride in the positive professional reputation you are developing by minding your manners to mine your career.
Kimberly Alford Rice is principal of KLA Marketing Associates, a business development advisory firm focusing on legal services. As a law marketing authority, Kimberly helps law firms and lawyers develop practical business development and marketing strategies which lead directly to new clients and increased revenues. Additionally, Kimberly provides career management services to lawyers in transition. She may be reached at 609-458-0415 or via email at kimberly@klamarketing.net.